The stereotypical beer snob is a strawman that doesn’t exist. Sure, there are dicks everywhere, but does craft beer attract them? No, craft beer has the same amount of snobs as any other hobby and I would argue probably less. Corporate beer marketers and craft beer traitors (Landos) toss around the word hipster a lot, but what the fuck does that even mean?
What is a hipster? I guess the simplest definition would be someone that goes out of their way to make it seem like they don’t care, but the amount of effort they put into making it seem like they don’t care shows that they do care, therefore you can slap them with the pejorative “hipster”. Obviously this isn’t a club someone is going to claim to be a part of. It’s an insult and an unorigonal one at that.
Corporate beer marketers are going to tell you that you’re a hipster for avoiding corporate beer. Why? That makes no fucking sense. Is it counter culture to support small businesses? When I walk into a local craft brewery I see people of all different backgrounds drinking and having a good time. I don’t see “hipsters” there. Maybe they don’t go out in public. Inbev would have you believe that they make the greatest beer on earth and the rest is leftover bathwater. That must be why you’re a hipster for avoiding them. According to them you’re purposefully avoiding good beer in favor of swill that will probably make you go blind after you get dysentery.
We’re looking for an even playing field so let's equate it to baseball. The Yankees make the most money in the baseball. Good for them. What if they decided to buy the Royals? That's where it starts. They share players during each others off days. They consolidate the teams once one of them is out of the playoffs. Eventually they buy more teams with the goal of owning every team in the playoffs. That's how you win without even competing.
You may say that that is a ridiculous analogy, but I don’t see it that way. I see that as exactly what is happening. Just go to a Dodger game and try to find a beer that isn’t owned by InBev. You might say “The craft beer selection is a lot better now that InBev owns them” and that might be true, but what's our endgame here? Are all of our great craft breweries in America a farm system for InBev? I say, fuck that shit. I’d rather see every brewery in LA competing for taps at Dodger stadium and consumers voting with their wallet who gets to stay and who has to go. Instead we get InBev deciding what we want. It might be better than it was, but it could’ve been so much better. Don't pay them. It’s the only way this bullshit will stop.
Another commonly tossed out point is the fact that businesses in other industries buy thier competetion. What the fuck do you want from me? Should I start up the Worst Dishwasher Blog and write about Whirlpool? It sucks. I wish I could do something about it. Most of the appliances in my house were here when I moved in. I’m actually interested and follow the craft beer industry and that's why I’m upset about it. If someone steals from you are you expected to devote the rest of your life as a victim's advocate? I’m talking about some bullshit and if you’re going to give me a weak ass defense like that, you can just fuck right off. I would actually argue that you don’t care about the craft beer industry at all. You just want to drink a beer that is yummy and you don’t give a shit who makes it. You can go ahead and contribute to the same snake eating it’s own tail approach that brought us as industry being dominated by light lager.
One thing I’m not going to do is let InBev tell me what’s cool. According to their twisted logic drinking InBev beer is cool and not drinking it is being a hipster. Are you fucking kidding me? That's the weirdest, most pathetic marketing campaign I’ve ever heard. A hipster is someone that has been exposed to craft beer, knows about it, enjoys it, but continues to drink macro beer. These fucking hipsters are what's wrong with beer. They say “just drink what you like”, but they are clearly just drinking what they think makes them look cool. They are the snobs you run into at a party that just want to talk your ear off about how hard it is to brew consistently at that level. Dude, we get it, you love macro beer. Please just let us enjoy our single growler of impossibly small-batch beer in peace. So next time you see a real beer hipster, tell them you hope they drown in a pool of Bud Light.